Well it’s about time I started writing another blog post! In fact, it’s well over due.
What spurred me on is being sat in the living room with my flat mate, guzzling a bottle of wine, proudly purchased from Lidl, (nothing wrong it Lidl!) as we chatted about life and how far we’ve come. I proceeded to bring up a previous blog post I wrote a year ago. Titled, ‘It’s okay to fail multiple times.’
We started too well up reading it, as we glared at each other in amazement, we’d really come a very long way since then!
So that leads me onto now, right here, currently just word vomiting up into the notes section of my IPhone at 23:00 at night.
I’ve just been at an event one of my best friends hosted. I felt so proud to stand there cheering her on at how hard she’d worked and how far she’d come.
Now half on my bed, still in my shoes, I thought, “Fuck it”, let’s write a blog post!
The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I’ve spent evenings crying, pulling my hair out, drinking endless bottles… Keep it professional Lauren!
It’s been tough.
To summarise, I was moving 100 steps forward before I’d even began to take the first step.
I thought to myself, I’m not good enough. I’m failing. And every day I’d tell myself that I must work 24/7 in order to succeed and follow my dreams.
I was wrong.
In fact I completely and utterly threw myself under the car (Not literally, just the saying)
A few weeks back, on a Friday night, I felt exhausted, deflated and unwell.
I said to my boyfriend at half 8 that it was time for bed. I switched my phone to flight mode, took a swig of night nurse, lathered myself in fake tan, ready for the weekend and, headed straight into a very deep sleep…
Knock, knock, knock
Why on Earth was someone be knocking on my window at stupid hour O clock on a Saturday morning…
I got up immediately to answer the door, ready for an argument of course. It was Harry, looking rather confused, flustered and panicked!
“Lauren… IT’S 2 IN THE AFTERNOON!!!”
Of course, my immediate thought was, fuck I’ve slept in my fake tan for 16 hours, not the fact I’d been asleep for that long and I was supposed to be at the pub over an hour ago…
So thank you to my amazing boyfriend who cares as much to drive 40 minutes into London to check if I was still alive!
Moral of that story is, self care is so so important. I’d tried to move forward 1000 steps before taking the first 100 and I’d simply, crashed.
Now I’m sat here, in my bed actually having a lie in, writing this of post with a clear head. (Yes I’m writing this section on a different day, I got tired)
It feels good.
Be sure to split your work time from your own personal life. No matter what career you’re in, at some point, you’ll crash if you’ve got no time to yourself.
I feel like we’re growing up in a generation where all we do is compare each others success stories and feel we put pressure on ourselves if someone else has “made it” or is at a different part of their lives to us.
It doesn’t mean we’ve failed one single bit.
Notes to myself from this blog post and the last few months: (take what you wish)
1. Always keep your weekends free for friends and family.
2. Get plenty of sleep!
3. Set yourself hours in the day for your working life so when that final hour comes you can switch off, read a book, have a bath or even just enjoy your dinner.
4. Relax! You’re doing amazing. Think back to last year when you would have only dreamt of being were you are today.
5. You’re amazing. Tell yourself that every day. Tell yourself it’s not a race, enjoy the process of growing up. Because, we only live once.
I hope you all have an amazing Sunday!
Although I can’t promise you a blog post every week, i’m pleased to be back writing again.
Lots of Love